medication
So i'm seeing my councelor again and i'm on meds for my depression and stuff and i'm wondering if i will have to be on them forever.. i'm told i'm bipolar and yes when reading through alot of it seems to discribe me... so in being bi polar i will be on meds for that forever probably.. it has been very hard for me to keep a job and for me to keep friendships or any kind of relationships.. i push people away... so now i wonder what is the use anymore.. i mean i believe in Jesus.. with all my heart i believe in Him but do i trust what He stands for? doesn't He stand for unconditional love?? and if so is that what is keeping me from handing it all over to Him because my whole life i have been hurt by the people who supposedly love me right... well how do i change this.. my doc says that my councelor will beable to help me with that and that it will take some time but not to give up on it because i will in time begin to see changes in myself... so i shall listen to him and stick with things because he seems to really care.. i mean i took my daughter to see him today because she has been complaining of a sore throat and in talking to him i also explained what was going on with me right.. well.. by the time we left...lol. he felt the need to yell at me a little bit.. guess i was not really listening to him and was asking to many questions or rather second guessing him.. anyway by the time my daughter and i left he stood up and gave me a hug as i was walking out the door.. that is the third time he has done that... see he knows all about my past.. more so then my councelor actually knows so far i think... i havn't really even opened up all the way to her.. but she is trying to get things stable wiht my meds before we get really into my healing.... so i'm still rambling and going on and i'm going to end it here..... sorry for going on so long...
posted by my_angel_eyes3 at 7:21 PM
4 Comments:
Just wanted to check in and see how you are doing and to let you know that you are in prayers. I completely understand the depression you are going through as I went through it myself. I could not feel the Lord's presence when I was there and I had to keep telling myself that I had God's support. It did eventually come back.
God Bless
i am still here and still struggling.. things have been tough and i seem to be in such a whole right now... i wish i knew how to deal with this and what has been coming.. someday i will give a full testimony and put the things in that i left out when i told you all about me... prayers and luv.. jenny
Hi Jenny,
I have just found your blog and wanted to say you are not alone. I identify so much with so much of what you write.
I too am on medication - just a few months ago I thought I was going to be able to come off them - I was mistaken and now need a double dose. My doc asked me what the medical profession would do if I had kidney failure - dialysis obviously was the answer - and suggested that I looked on my meds in the same way. It has helped.
trust is a big issue with me - i am a christian, but haven't felt able to go to church for several months now, and in all that time I have had only 1 visit/phone call from someone from church - and that was yesterday!
do keep going to see your councelor - it does take ages, and isn't easy - but in my experience it does help.
Take care of yourself, and have some fun if you can. my prayers are with you.
..Hi,
..Your blog is really great
..Keep posting!!!
*_* jampot *_*
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