teen years into adulthood
So going from preteen into later teens i got a job when i was 16 at pizza hut.. i wanted to be away from my home as much as possible so i worked two other jobs the summer i was turning 17... i worked at a resturant that was open 24 hours so i worked there on 3rd shift... then in the morning i detaisled corn and then was at work at pizza hut by 6pm.. i would go 2 days strait of no sleeping but taking pills to keep me away.. like the stacker pills we have now adays.. all over the counter stuff... so in between working.. i drank.. and ran around.. drinking and driving should have killed me in those years but i can only say God had been watching over me even then... a few times i ended up in the ditch and was able to drive right back out and drive off again.. There are many times of drinking that alot is blocked out.. i dont remember alot of even that time.. but i would do alot of shots and drink alot of beer...
well when i turned 19 i met my sons father.. He came down a one way street the wrong way at me... and then we did the little following each other and stuff until 2 weeks later we finally stopped and talked to one another... God had to of brought him into my life for a reason... after dating for 6 months i ended up pregnant.. and if it was not for my son i would not be here today.. i'm sure i would of continued drinking and such until i finally killed myself... i look back at how i was then and i wonder if out of everything i was doing if i was truely trying to kill myself...
So i had my son.. his father and i were planning on getting married... i was still living at home when i had my son.. and there was one day my mom watched him for like 10 minutes while i ran to the gas station to get some smokes... i came back and my son was lying in his basinet awake just laying there.. he was to young to even be rolling yet.. but nobody else was home.. my mother had left... i finally saw my neice walking up the street and asked her where grandma was and she said she was at the neighbors and i asked her to please go tell grandma to come home... that i wanted to talk to her.... needless to say my mom was very sorry and had forgotten all about him because he was so quiet...
with in a week or so after that my mother and i had a big fight.. i'm not really sure why we were fighting but we ended up in the bathroom and she had be cornered by then and she started choking me.. now up until that moment i had never fought back.. it's not right for a children to fight back against their parents... but needless to day i cracked that day.. i shoved my mother back and i told her if she ever touched me again i would kill her.. and i meant it then...
In the next few weeks my sons father and i got an apartment together... we were together until my son was almost 2... I was making it very hard on him to want to even be around me.. I pushed him away.. i tried to run his life.. i was angry at him.. he had a head on collision and that changed his whole life and his outlook on life.. i spent the first week by his bed in the hospital and then i was up there everyday when he got to where we knew he would be ok... He wasn't taking my crap no more when he got better and moved home.. in my defense though i knew he was trying to screw around on me.. i had caught him trying and it made me crazy in a way i guess.. i never hit him or nothing but he was always so secretive.. and then to top it off he don't come home one night and expects me to believe he feel asleep in a store parking lot cause he got losts... lol.. i'm not that stupid...
We both had alot of growing up to do.. and we are best friends now.. well to a point.. he's not married.. i'm not married.. we both have another child with someone else.. yet he is always calling me to come and visit and hang out with him.. he wants to get back together after 8 years of him dating others.. he's also right now dating 3 other women and i have told him i'm not one of his bimbos. that if we were ever to get back together that he would have to get rid of the others and i'm not sure if i could fully trust him or not... the 3 women all know about each other.. he is living with one of them.. yet they all for some reason think they are the one for him.. it's a sad situation... He also knows that my life is given to Christ now and things would be different if we ever got together...
anyways i think i've made this long enough... next time i write i will tell you the happenings with my son and why i ended up in counceling when he was about a year and a half old... prayers and luv.. my_angel_eyes3
well when i turned 19 i met my sons father.. He came down a one way street the wrong way at me... and then we did the little following each other and stuff until 2 weeks later we finally stopped and talked to one another... God had to of brought him into my life for a reason... after dating for 6 months i ended up pregnant.. and if it was not for my son i would not be here today.. i'm sure i would of continued drinking and such until i finally killed myself... i look back at how i was then and i wonder if out of everything i was doing if i was truely trying to kill myself...
So i had my son.. his father and i were planning on getting married... i was still living at home when i had my son.. and there was one day my mom watched him for like 10 minutes while i ran to the gas station to get some smokes... i came back and my son was lying in his basinet awake just laying there.. he was to young to even be rolling yet.. but nobody else was home.. my mother had left... i finally saw my neice walking up the street and asked her where grandma was and she said she was at the neighbors and i asked her to please go tell grandma to come home... that i wanted to talk to her.... needless to say my mom was very sorry and had forgotten all about him because he was so quiet...
with in a week or so after that my mother and i had a big fight.. i'm not really sure why we were fighting but we ended up in the bathroom and she had be cornered by then and she started choking me.. now up until that moment i had never fought back.. it's not right for a children to fight back against their parents... but needless to day i cracked that day.. i shoved my mother back and i told her if she ever touched me again i would kill her.. and i meant it then...
In the next few weeks my sons father and i got an apartment together... we were together until my son was almost 2... I was making it very hard on him to want to even be around me.. I pushed him away.. i tried to run his life.. i was angry at him.. he had a head on collision and that changed his whole life and his outlook on life.. i spent the first week by his bed in the hospital and then i was up there everyday when he got to where we knew he would be ok... He wasn't taking my crap no more when he got better and moved home.. in my defense though i knew he was trying to screw around on me.. i had caught him trying and it made me crazy in a way i guess.. i never hit him or nothing but he was always so secretive.. and then to top it off he don't come home one night and expects me to believe he feel asleep in a store parking lot cause he got losts... lol.. i'm not that stupid...
We both had alot of growing up to do.. and we are best friends now.. well to a point.. he's not married.. i'm not married.. we both have another child with someone else.. yet he is always calling me to come and visit and hang out with him.. he wants to get back together after 8 years of him dating others.. he's also right now dating 3 other women and i have told him i'm not one of his bimbos. that if we were ever to get back together that he would have to get rid of the others and i'm not sure if i could fully trust him or not... the 3 women all know about each other.. he is living with one of them.. yet they all for some reason think they are the one for him.. it's a sad situation... He also knows that my life is given to Christ now and things would be different if we ever got together...
anyways i think i've made this long enough... next time i write i will tell you the happenings with my son and why i ended up in counceling when he was about a year and a half old... prayers and luv.. my_angel_eyes3
posted by my_angel_eyes3 at 4:43 PM
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